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blahhhh
May 19, 2009 23:11:26 GMT -5
Post by blink, on May 19, 2009 23:11:26 GMT -5
Okay, so I've basically got Alena down. I know what I want to do with her, I think... it's just a matter of typing it up D:.
Siren, on the other hand, is coming out like shit.... I'm writing the same thing over and over again... probably because I should have gone to bed hours ago.
Anyway, here's what I have. Different ref? I think that one (the different/alternative ref) might fit her better...
She's supposed to be carefree on the surface and, at the same time, really cruel; aldkjf;alkdjfe. I was planning on having her grow up in Orre or something.... pretty bad life and shit... like, whorehouse? or is that too cliche?
OHMIGAWDINEEDSLEEP.
-/passes out-
---oh, and if this isn't enough for y'guyz to, like, comprehend what's going on in my messed up brain, tell me and I'll try to expand on it.
[EDIT: to clarify, I'll ask the question again: Which do you think is better, the ref here or here?]
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blahhhh
May 20, 2009 10:03:56 GMT -5
Post by Lara on May 20, 2009 10:03:56 GMT -5
Well, cliche or not, she probably does need some reason or another to hate mankind so badly. Especially a reason as to why she hates seeing other people happy. I don't think growing up in a whorehouse would be too cliche, though, 'cause I haven't seen that used very often before, and it does sound like it could be an interesting backstory. As to what you have so far, I really liked the first two paragraphs of her personality. The last two, I got the jist of, but they were a bit confusing...Especially the last one. Are you trying to say that she doesn't mean to let people know at all that she hates them? Or that she doesn't know she hates them in the first place? I also think you should expand more on that one sentence, about her version of 'cute', since you say it isn't the same as everyone else. I'm kind of curious, myself. Maybe you could try to offer more contrast between her inner feelings and her outer, rather than just coming out and saying "oh yeah, but she doesn't show her hatred on the outside"? Just a thought. You could focus more on what she shows on the outside, but offer suggestions in facial features or body posture to show that she really hates your guts... or vice versa, with showing exactly how much she hates you on the inside, but showing how her smile doesn't falter unless she wants it to. Etc.
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blahhhh
May 20, 2009 14:18:19 GMT -5
Post by blink, on May 20, 2009 14:18:19 GMT -5
That's some really good advice you've given there :). I'll try to address all of your suggestions.
As for the confusing last paragraph, I think I was trying to say that she doesn't know that she hates people...? But I can't remember, seeing as I was sleepy while writing that, hah. I think I'll just drop those two paragraphs altogether.
Thanks, Lara :D.
[And, if I'd had half a brain last night, I would have mentioned that any level of criticism is welcome. As in, you can rub me into the ground, insult my writing, mechanics, grammar, etc., and I'll still appreciate it XD. So yeah, feel free...]
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blahhhh
May 20, 2009 21:12:05 GMT -5
Post by Lara on May 20, 2009 21:12:05 GMT -5
Oops, totally missed the question about references. I say go with the one you've already got; it rocks. :D
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blahhhh
May 20, 2009 21:14:18 GMT -5
Post by blink, on May 20, 2009 21:14:18 GMT -5
Lolz, awesomeness. Yes, I find that one more creepy too, no? -w-
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blahhhh
Aug 16, 2009 19:56:07 GMT -5
Post by blink, on Aug 16, 2009 19:56:07 GMT -5
Hey guiz. So, I came across another picture that I'm considering swapping for Siren's current ref. It's not that I don't like her current ref. I'm just indecisive xD'. So, let me know what you thinkk.
Ref 1 Ref 2
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blahhhh
Aug 16, 2009 21:05:30 GMT -5
Post by Affectionate Zombie on Aug 16, 2009 21:05:30 GMT -5
I like Ref 1 a lot. It fits the name "Siren" really well, and though the picture portrays someone beautiful and delicate-looking, there's something unsettling about it. Suits Siren perfectly, I think. :>
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blahhhh
Aug 16, 2009 22:35:06 GMT -5
Post by Lara on Aug 16, 2009 22:35:06 GMT -5
Yeah, my vote is still for the first reference~.
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blahhhh
Aug 17, 2009 14:46:31 GMT -5
Post by blink, on Aug 17, 2009 14:46:31 GMT -5
Kay, cool . That helps reassure me. Thanks~!
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